So my new thing for the day? A brand new age. Woo. Hoo.
On my birthday five years ago, a friend asked me what I’d learned in the year gone by. I found that to be a particularly interesting way of ushering in a new year.
This year, however, I’d rather look forward than back. While the one gone by had its moments, many of them truly lovely, it was overall not what I’d call particularly successful in the grand scheme of things. I can’t really think of anything of especial significance that I learned.
I’ve noticed that when one expresses regret for not having achieved (and I use the term loosely) certain things, the typical response is that there’s no particular time clock. Generally, this opinion is given either by one who has already completed certain accomplishments (again, loose application of the word), in which case it just smacks of condescension, or by one who is also lagging, perhaps even more so, and in that instance, the statement is simply self-serving and there’s no reason to trust it.
But here’s what people don’t often acknowledge: It’s not really about the social time clock. Oh, sure, that matters. We try to pretend it doesn’t, but it does. But those who move at a slower pace get left behind. Relationships change. You watch people move away from you, perhaps not all at once, but it happens.
I’d say I learned this past year that nothing happens in the time you wish it to happen, but I learned that a long time ago. I haven’t yet come to accept it as anything other than entirely irritating, but it’s a fact of which I am well aware. Still, the year gone by was a series of annoying reminders.
So instead, I’m going to focus on the year ahead. On getting what I want. On accepting what I can’t change (no, I am not a member of AA). On moving forward. On learning new things.
Wish me luck.